26 June 2015

Are you strong and independent? That's why you are not pampered!

Came across a cartoon that had a girl/woman saying to herself "Wish there was someone to pamper me!" and in the other panel, she suddenly has an epiphany and says "It doesn't matter as I am a strong and independent woman."

It got me to think that there are always people who we think are blessed or lucky as they always get taken care of in life by someone or the other - be it by parents, spouse, relatives, children, employees etc. And then there are others (like me) who have to work for every little thing in life- nothing happens on its own or by luck or someone's favors. There is a saying - if you want something, ask or demand. But people who are strong are so used to being the one who is asked for help, support etc. that they forget to ask others around them for help. They are habituated to reach inside their reserves of strength and resilience to always find a way out of a difficulty.

In order to be pampered, you have to be weak or show weakness or seek support. That is why infants, toddlers and kids are pampered so much. They lack independence. Though some children have this quality right from childhood and they are burdened with taking care of others around them all their lives.

Both - being pampered, and being strong & independent, have their pros and cons. With the former, you get taken care of but then there is always an obligation. Sooner or later there comes a payback time as there are no free lunches in this world. There is a lot of maintenance of relationships to be done as you need to ensure that people around you are committed to taking care of you! With the latter, you trudge through most of your life carrying the burdens of others and not having anyone to vent out to. There is less fun and more discipline and frugality. A strong person never gets asked "How are you coping?" even though their challenge is very much visible to others. Its automatically assumed that he/she will cope well(so unfair!) No fuss is ever made of their plight, whereas a weaker one's plight is a source of much concern of all. But the benefits are you never have to depend on anyone, you are not obligated to anyone and are master of your life. Also, there is so much gratitude around you that you feel blessed eventually.

So do I still miss being pampered?! Oh yes, who doesn't?! So I act the weakling sometimes and get my share of pampering :-)

Health is wealth

Last two years were tough for me health-wise. Without going into details, there was degradation in overall vitality, lot of pain, a battery of tests and innumerable visits to the doctor. However, the good part is that health became such a focus that I completely revamped my lifestyle.

Swimming, walking, gym-cycling became my fitness regimen. All kind of sweets, oily and processed food left my diet and salads and fruits entered with a bang. The outcome is now, after little more than a year, I have renewed vigor for life in general and am 9 kgs lighter to boot! Not only this, but my temperament in general has undergone a drastic change. No more mood swings, no more outbursts and good involvement in all activities again. So much so, that my daughter says "How come you are never angry now, Mummy?"

Work-wise too the effects are felt. I have a sharpened focus to excel and perform better now. It's not that I lacked the will to excel earlier, it's just that I have much more reserves of mental and physical stamina to deal with challenges. Getting through the day with some energy reserved for latter part of the day is no more a criteria.  Needless to say, shedding the kilos make the clothes fit better and get me noticed as never before. That helps at work as well as social situations and does wonders to one's confidence!

So what is the lesson here? No, I don't want to boast about my will-power to turn things around:-) The learning was that people are sometimes different, difficult or easy-going, based on physical factors impacting their health in some way or other. If only they themselves, or someone close to them, take the trouble to delve deeper into health issues- could be mental or physical. That is why some old people are so cranky, some menopausal or pregnant  women are impossible to be around and over-worked husbands are like grizzly bears.

Every single person wants to be happy. But the fact is you can never be happy or successful if you are not supported by your body and lack confidence. Confidence is key to all achievement in life. And unless you are sure that your body, mind and emotions will pull you through any situation, you will fail at every hurdle life throws at you. Our body is the most precious gift to us from God, but so many of us are busy in mindless pursuits of wealth, status, luxury or experiences.

Whoever said that health is wealth was a genius. Wealth can still be rebuilt once lost but it's very, very tough to rebuild our health. Mind you, it's not impossible. But sometimes dwindling health can be a vicious cycle that recursively increases complications. 

My experiments with domestic help

I just completed 20 years of employment in the IT industry. Those who know about this industry, know that its notorious for long hours, sco...