26 June 2015

Are you strong and independent? That's why you are not pampered!

Came across a cartoon that had a girl/woman saying to herself "Wish there was someone to pamper me!" and in the other panel, she suddenly has an epiphany and says "It doesn't matter as I am a strong and independent woman."

It got me to think that there are always people who we think are blessed or lucky as they always get taken care of in life by someone or the other - be it by parents, spouse, relatives, children, employees etc. And then there are others (like me) who have to work for every little thing in life- nothing happens on its own or by luck or someone's favors. There is a saying - if you want something, ask or demand. But people who are strong are so used to being the one who is asked for help, support etc. that they forget to ask others around them for help. They are habituated to reach inside their reserves of strength and resilience to always find a way out of a difficulty.

In order to be pampered, you have to be weak or show weakness or seek support. That is why infants, toddlers and kids are pampered so much. They lack independence. Though some children have this quality right from childhood and they are burdened with taking care of others around them all their lives.

Both - being pampered, and being strong & independent, have their pros and cons. With the former, you get taken care of but then there is always an obligation. Sooner or later there comes a payback time as there are no free lunches in this world. There is a lot of maintenance of relationships to be done as you need to ensure that people around you are committed to taking care of you! With the latter, you trudge through most of your life carrying the burdens of others and not having anyone to vent out to. There is less fun and more discipline and frugality. A strong person never gets asked "How are you coping?" even though their challenge is very much visible to others. Its automatically assumed that he/she will cope well(so unfair!) No fuss is ever made of their plight, whereas a weaker one's plight is a source of much concern of all. But the benefits are you never have to depend on anyone, you are not obligated to anyone and are master of your life. Also, there is so much gratitude around you that you feel blessed eventually.

So do I still miss being pampered?! Oh yes, who doesn't?! So I act the weakling sometimes and get my share of pampering :-)

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