01 September 2016

Are you a good judge of character?

Have been spending a couple of days at my mom's this week. While chit-chatting, the subject arose on how some folks are notoriously bad judge of characters despite being intelligent overall. People say that good judgement comes with age and experience. But frankly, good judgement requires some specific traits without which no matter what age you reach, you can never master it.

A humble and open approach to life is essential. Having a little bit of emotional intelligence helps. Once you are free of preconceived notions and willing to give another person the benefit of doubt, you usually arrive at a pretty accurate summation. Ego and prejudice blind one to the hidden agenda and fickleness of people. Once you are free of those, then you are under no obligation to like someone because they were nice to you or paid you handsome compliments. Emotional intelligence makes you aware of your own emotions and where your blind spots are. One needs to be careful of those - e.g. some people tend to automatically like soft-spoken, sweet talking individuals. Whereas I am always suspicious of such even-tempered souls - for no one in this world can be untouched by emotion. And emotions bring a roller coaster of reactions, expressions, mood swings. If someone manages to look composed all the time, they have mastered the art of camouflaging their emotions well. And who knows what else they can hide well.

You may ask why is good judgement required - time anyway shows true colors of everyone. While this is true, if you can know someone well without the luxury of time you can make some quick decisions. You have to work with so many folks - maids, nannies, drivers, employees, would-be spouse, partner etc. Everyone will reach the finish line sooner or later, but do you want to race or slow-walk? 

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