When Anu was 6-7 years old, and I used to go through her class work during PTMs, I noticed that she always described me(her mother) as kind. I used to think that was because her spelling prowess extended to 4-letter words only and this was the shortest attribute she could think for me. Words like intelligent, hard-working, honest were something I expected to see but they never came up.
On questioning her, I realized that kindness was the highest attribute in her book. If a person was not "kind" (polite, not criticizing or belittling her, respecting her boundaries, accepting of her flaws) then he/she never made it to her favorite list.
For most of my childhood and adulthood I set a lot of store by qualities of intelligence, honesty, humility, courage and confidence. I used to admire people with these qualities a lot. But my daughter taught me that kindness is the most important one to have. If you have all others but not basic kindness then you still have a lot of work to be done on yourself.
Most people start out being kind, but life, and its bitter experiences, slowly turn them apathetic, if not downright cruel. Indeed, maintaining kindness in face of the betrayal, judgements, emotional and verbal abuse via our family, friends, colleagues, neighbors etc. takes a lot of resilience and fortitude. One needs to constantly work on self.
Recently, some family members refused to visit another member who had just lost a spouse to a long drawn out battle with cancer. The reason cited was that the family member had not been so nice to her mother many years ago. Then there are others who boycott family members due to non-conformance. But no matter what the person's sin, isn't that person deserving of basic humanity and goodwill? It is only when one is down and out that one craves the milk of human kindness. If one deprives such a person of that, isn't one breaking the basic laws of karma and sentencing oneself to angst through continued lives?
People do so many poojas, visit temples far and wide, memorize and chant all sorts of mantra and prayers but how can they forget the basic law of karma? It says be kind to everyone, including yourself, irrespective of your past deeds/thoughts. What goes around comes around - so if you harbor bad thoughts about someone they will come back to haunt you and make your life miserable one day. Even if you never voice those thoughts, or act on them, the object of your thoughts will feel the vibes from you. And when you hurt someone who is down and out, the curses that are wrung from their soul, will trap you into the karmic cycle afresh. Why then do such 'evolved' people persist in such naivety? What is the way to break out of the vicious cycle of karma?
The answer lies is constant self-introspection. In being in the moment, and not letting past memories interfere with current action. In always putting the person, instead of their actions, in perspective. Being kind is indeed the highest virtue and best worship one can offer God. Financial debt is not the one to worry about always, need to make time for one's spiritual debts too.
On questioning her, I realized that kindness was the highest attribute in her book. If a person was not "kind" (polite, not criticizing or belittling her, respecting her boundaries, accepting of her flaws) then he/she never made it to her favorite list.
For most of my childhood and adulthood I set a lot of store by qualities of intelligence, honesty, humility, courage and confidence. I used to admire people with these qualities a lot. But my daughter taught me that kindness is the most important one to have. If you have all others but not basic kindness then you still have a lot of work to be done on yourself.
Most people start out being kind, but life, and its bitter experiences, slowly turn them apathetic, if not downright cruel. Indeed, maintaining kindness in face of the betrayal, judgements, emotional and verbal abuse via our family, friends, colleagues, neighbors etc. takes a lot of resilience and fortitude. One needs to constantly work on self.
Recently, some family members refused to visit another member who had just lost a spouse to a long drawn out battle with cancer. The reason cited was that the family member had not been so nice to her mother many years ago. Then there are others who boycott family members due to non-conformance. But no matter what the person's sin, isn't that person deserving of basic humanity and goodwill? It is only when one is down and out that one craves the milk of human kindness. If one deprives such a person of that, isn't one breaking the basic laws of karma and sentencing oneself to angst through continued lives?
People do so many poojas, visit temples far and wide, memorize and chant all sorts of mantra and prayers but how can they forget the basic law of karma? It says be kind to everyone, including yourself, irrespective of your past deeds/thoughts. What goes around comes around - so if you harbor bad thoughts about someone they will come back to haunt you and make your life miserable one day. Even if you never voice those thoughts, or act on them, the object of your thoughts will feel the vibes from you. And when you hurt someone who is down and out, the curses that are wrung from their soul, will trap you into the karmic cycle afresh. Why then do such 'evolved' people persist in such naivety? What is the way to break out of the vicious cycle of karma?
The answer lies is constant self-introspection. In being in the moment, and not letting past memories interfere with current action. In always putting the person, instead of their actions, in perspective. Being kind is indeed the highest virtue and best worship one can offer God. Financial debt is not the one to worry about always, need to make time for one's spiritual debts too.
2 comments:
Very well written! Visiting places of worship, etc. are standard things that people do in order to gain some brownie points with The One above.
But actually doing kind things and feeling empathy for others is the better and correct way to attain Moksha.
Wow! beautiful message and loved the ending - 'Financial debts aren't the only debts, there are spiritual debts too!'
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