Tadka - Love is cooking

 

Name    : 'Tadka - Love is cooking'

Cast      : Nana Patekar, Shriya Saran, Taapsee Pannu, Ali Fazal, Murali Sharma

Director: Prakash Raj

OTT      : Zee5

Though the genre is 'romance for the middle-aged', surprisingly my tween daughter enjoyed watching it till the end with me. Set against the backdrop of Goa, this directorial debut of Prakash Raj, a remake of the Malayalam film "Salt N Pepper', is a delightful fare! The romance is triggered through a wrong number dialed, and the plot thickens over slow flame into a soulful serving indeed.

Nana's character is a deep, sensitive character who views life and people through the lens of food (or how it is prepared). True to his vocation of archeology, he lives in the past and is fast losing his grip on the present, due to which he is still single in his middle age. His friends mock his rejection of potential life partners based on their culinary likes. He, however, explains in latter part of the movie, why that is important for him. The bond between the protagonists (who do not see each other in the flesh until the very end), between friends, and the other couple in the movie, is brought out really well by the director. 

Nana Patekar is 71 in real life and Shriya Saran is 40. Its amazing that he managed to play a 50-something character so realistically - he truly rocks!

I, and my daughter, have been people who never set a lot of store by food. We cannot wax eloquent on how a dish is prepared, its aroma, texture, quality etc. - for us food is just fuel to keep our bodies functioning. But to many people its an art form, its something to talk about and definitely something to enjoy at leisure. This movie taught me that its also something that reminds people of key people in their lives. Food is sometimes closely tied to emotion. We have talked about audio-visual memories & flesh memories. But food memories run deep too. 

As they say, stomach is the second brain of the body. Possibly, the tongue is the second heart? The movie is a treat for all foodies, romantics and Nana Patekar fans.

Return to workplace ?

In a world polarized by WFH enthusiasts vs those who thrive at the office, Malcolm Gladwell's recent statement supporting the latter has been making waves. A very thought provoking insight on the ensuing debates is found in the article - "Your brain wants autonomy. Your soul needs connection."

 

I have always been people-centered and gain energy from being among people. I am naturally drawn to activities that involve this. The last couple of years have been tough for me to say the least. But I've also grown to enjoy my own company quite a lot. Recently, when I returned from my workplace (I follow the hybrid model), my husband actually commented "Being among people lights a bulb inside you - you are literally glowing." I was super exhausted after a long commute and back to back meetings, but I guess the spark showed.

 

It’s not just about gaining strength from people. Its also about identifying with the place which connects you with what you do best.

e.g. A proud homemaker is in her element at her home - for that is her work. A dedicated teacher is most happy at the school where she creates an impact for the next generation. A spiritual person gains strength from the place they do their spiritual work in viz. meditation centre, temple or places of spiritual gatherings. Similarly a person who is passionate about work (it could be software development, sales, number crunching, etc.) identifies with the place they usually operate from and gain strength from it.

 

Everyone has a different "primary" work in their life. The place where they perform it becomes most significant for them. For some its their home, for others its the office, some others have changed or quit careers. Hybrid model definitely is a win-win because it gives one the opportunity to spend time at one's primary work even if it does not happen to be one that pays the bills. Its a more "tolerant" approach to what is traditionally regarded as work.

 

The pandemic and vaccinations have introduced irreversible changes in our body, psyche and routines for sure. A lot of mindsets will need to be revisited in this context in future - what worked before may not work anymore. We are in the midst of a massive transition - it will require more patience and introspection.

Volunteer woes

I am part of a volunteer group in my organization called Harmony@Symphony. Infact, I head this group. It is an informal body that seeks to address various issues in the organization by drawing upon the extensive mind-share it has with various support functions and senior management. We try to find the root cause for each of the issues, discuss at length with involved parties and try to arrive at a mutually satisfactory resolution. Recent circumstances impelled me to pour my heart out in the following poem. The above context was essential to understand the poem, hence the lengthy preface!  

 

Some say we are the optimists, 

Some write us off as mavericks, 

We prefer to see the silver lining, 

In a crowd of whiners and critics. 

 

The crashing elevator at GA, 

The frequently non-working lift; 

Management said its good for our health 

We applauded – what a paradigm shift! 

 

We braved the stifling summer heat at AG cafeteria, 

We waded through ankle-deep water in rains, 

We relished being so close to nature, 

After all, no pains - no gains! 

 

We rallied during the mass exodus, 

The talent drain and the resource crunch, 

The Finance hiccups, the Network woes, 

With determined optimism, we faced each punch. 

 

A potpourri of various Enterprise Applications, 

The sadly unused Intranet Site, 

We’re growing, we’re growing - is the cry, 

What are we doing to improve our plight? 

 

We moved our belongings from GA to AG, 

And then from AG to our campus. 

And now some of us will trudge back to AG, 

Oh why this entire rumpus? 

 

While everyone around us railed, 

We sailed though all the hardship. 

And bore the discomfort, the chaos 

With the proverbial stiff upper lip. 

 

We reasoned, we cajoled, and we communicated, 

We strove for peace and harmony. 

We tried to see both sides for all issues, 

Oh for a voice of reason, amidst this cacophony! 

 

Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? 

Are we beating against a closed door? 

Are we going about this the wrong way? 

It is time to take stock, my friends, I thee implore.

Focus - my "one word" for 2022

In the last couple of years, the world took a crash course in going digital. Groceries, food, parcel deliveries, as well as OTT platforms, have taken the world by storm. Since folks could no more gossip or vent in cafes, bars & gyms, they took to chatting, celebrating, exercising over Zoom. The pandemic fed our captivation for 24x7 news via social media. With work and school going online, and multiple Wi-Fi connections becoming a necessity rather than a luxury in homes, we are officially captives of distraction.

Personally, I have rolled chappatis, helped my daughter with her school work, shopped for groceries online, tracked & received deliveries, counselled family over phone, in between attending work meetings. Conversely, folks have “managed” to take a bath, eat or sleep, while working, in the last couple of years.

Though the world is gradually returning to offline, this rampant multi-tasking has surely taken its toll. Sleep has been the biggest casualty. Health issues are on the rise due to continuous sitting in front of gadgets. Focus, on any one activity, is a struggle. And hence there is so much emphasis on meditative practices, mindfulness.

My 2022 new year resolution has been to consciously enhance focus in each of my activities. So what is the big deal around Focus?

We have all heard the famous Mahabharata tale of Arjuna’s concentration. When his archery guru Dronacharya, set up a target in form of a bird on a tree, he asked all his pupils what they could see. While all others claimed to see the tree, the leaves, the bird, its feathers etc., Arjuna said he could only see the eye of the bird. On being asked if he could see the bird, leaves, tree etc. Arjun confirmed that he could not see those. When asked to shoot his arrow, it went straight to the bird on the tree and brought it down.

That’s when his guru preached – “When you want to achieve something, you must focus on it. Close out all other distractions and concentrate only on your target.” This is true for teenagers aspiring to be actors, musicians, dancers, sportspeople or writers. The more concentration you pour into your craft the more the chances of being successful at it.

So, why is it so hard to concentrate and so easy to get distracted?

In order to concentrate on one thing you must, by default, ignore many other things. Concentration can only occur when we have said ‘yes’ to one option and ‘no’ to all other options. In other words, elimination is a prerequisite for focus. Most people don’t have trouble with focusing - they have trouble with decision making. Instead of doing the difficult work of choosing one thing over others, we often convince ourselves that multitasking is a better option. This is ineffective.

We have heard puzzles like-

"A man was driving from work to pick up his daughter from school. On the way, he received a call on his cell from his best friend’s wife. She was in tears as her husband had collapsed at home and needed urgent attention. Their home was a bit far from where he was and he would need to get there fast if he chose to help." He turned his car in that direction, called his wife who was at a conference, to pick their daughter, called the school to have her there until his wife arrived. He then sped to his friend’s place and drove him to the nearest hospital. He focused on the driving, the hospital formalities and ensuring his friend was stabilized. He ignored the concern his daughter may have felt, that he may not be able to get back to his work that day and that his friend’s wife was visibly distressed. Thus, when it comes to these kind of dilemmas, our brain is able to choose what to focus on – his friend’s life was his priority.

However, in daily life, such a conscious choice is not easy. In order to decide on which option to focus on – we must go over all the options and shortlist the top 3 as the most urgent. The rest must ALL be ignored – meaning some sacrifices are in order. 

Having prioritized goals is not enough. It is good to have a goal to be a best-selling author - but to reach there, one must love the process of writing. You need to write something every day, and keep getting better at it over the years through measuring & tracking your progress via metrics and feedback. It requires discipline, consistent effort and falling in love with it. When you keep chipping at the wood like a woodpecker, you eventually do fell the tree!

As they say, anything you focus your attention and energy on, grows. Be it your children, relationships, work, health or life goals. Even within relationships, we need to choose which ones are most important and require consistent effort. We are all leaders in whatever role we are in – need not be in a formal leadership role. A leader is the one who is in control – not only of herself but for anything under her purview. Thus, focusing our attention on what needs it most at any given time, and giving it your best, will always fetch the results we strive for.

In IT parlance, I remember my managers emphasizing on running daily scrums. Do not cancel or reschedule scrums & meetings, I was told ad infinitum. You may not realize the importance of this week by week, but over the months, the discipline and knowledge that you build for the product pays off in terms of the delivery and business it garners.

To sum up, Focus teaches you- 

1. Saying No
   
2. Decision making 
3. Consistent effort 
4. Measurement
5. Passion

We have all heard these in relation to leadership. Make Focus your number 1 leadership lesson for 2022!