Since Jan 2024, I am on a break from full-time corporate work. After working non-stop for more than a quarter-century, I figured that things were just too much out of whack, and needed to be brought back on track. Even so, relaxing fully was never on the cards. During this hiatus, I turned to my first love - writing. I enrolled into a 90-day publishing masterclass and published my first book (eBook as well as paperback versions)! For this, I consciously cultivated the company of aspiring and existing authors to learn the ropes. I spent time with a few of them on a retreat (my first solo journey), and even attended a book launch event for one of their books (another first) - all enriching experiences!
The dream of publishing my first book kept me occupied through this time. While writing has come to me naturally for many years now, I discovered that publishing a book requires a different level of rigor and commitment. There were bi-weekly online classes, and as I adhered to the mission milestones set by my coach, I found that it was possible to maintain this rigor (in the absence of full-time career, of course). I am severely doubtful that this can be achieved, with as much passion, while pursuing a full-fledged, busy career.
I had had a VERY busy schedule until last year, in my corporate job - so much so that I was on the very brink of total (physical, mental and emotional) burnout. A time out was the need of the hour. But, switching gears into a less stressful and more fruitful area by embracing a new mindset, required additional effort. Getting the hang of new processes, tools, and unlearning of old habits so I could replace them with new ones, sapped my energy further. For a few weeks, I did not know whether I was coming or going, and was accused by my family that I am busier than before! Uh-oh, it was time to make more time for the Family (biting my nails). After my initial frenzied writing phase was over (the creative urge, and purge, is pretty potent), I proceeded with the subsequent editing, formatting and proof-reading phases at a slower pace. Each of the online, as well as print, versions required a different level of cover design, formatting and proof-reading. I published them separately at different times.
Whilst all of this was enfolding, I also began to focus on myself, my home, my daughter, extended family, neighbours - strictly in that order. Loving myself comprised a daily regime of movement, deep breathing, intake of sunlight, healthy diet, lots of water, nutritious home-made food, and adequate sleep. The moment the body got an opportunity, out came all the complaints, allergies and aches, that had to be dealt with one at a time. This change of scenario also required finding a brand new like-minded community; authentic & passionate writers, family members I had not had time to connect with in the past, domestic help, and neighbours in my society. I had no bandwidth to keep in touch with my ex-colleagues. They were left scratching their heads at how easily I could forget them as well as the drudgery of corporate life (the latter was a piece of cake) and took to this life like a duck to water.
Looking after home meant introducing new processes and modifying existing ones, to ensure smoother functioning all around. De-cluttering, cleansing, organizing and re-decorating, felt therapeutic as well as satisfying. It also ensured involvement of kiddo in household maintenance chores, thus taking care of the mini-summer break. Spending more time with my teenager is to be a captive audience to her daily rant about teachers, school, classmates, specific subjects, and life in general. I also got full exposure to her study, social as well as bus schedules, as also the looming threat of change in CBSE board syllabus during the crucial 9th and 10th grades. Following up with school teachers and fellow suffering parents became the norm. Also, there are multiple process changes underway regarding HER routine in the new academic year too.
Engaging with neighbours had me participating in more events, being the unofficial photographer (something I love), and also getting to know some of them much better (and vice versa). And yes, I got to bask in their fulsome praise on having an author amidst them and what a great achievement it was! It felt good to be regarded so highly and warmly :) As I turned agony-aunt as well as mentor of my domestic help, I found that this is one area that had certainly suffered due to my razor-sharp focus on work in the past. "Giving attention to employees gets better results" is true at home too, not just in corporates! They in turn had a newfound respect for my dexterity and attention-to-detail, in housework. They too held me in awe due to my book writing skill; suddenly, I was bathed in the halo of a wiser being.
Because of the author masterclass, the writer's retreat, and the subject of my book, I now perceive everything - viz. books, movies, series or someone's life, as a narrative. I try to evaluate if its presentation was impactful or if it could have been better. It changed my vantage point from that of a compulsive action-taker to an observer. Not that an action-taker is bad, but sometimes you have to coast in order to grasp the minutiae. Life had gone from fifth gear to second, and I finally had time to catch my breath, rest and simply BE. My health, personality, relationships (social media connections included) - all have transformed for the better. Those who doubted me initially are now admiring, envying or being inspired, by me, even citing my example to others.
Patience and mindfulness are the two superpowers I have earned in this sabbatical so far. And they have made a world of difference to my confidence and self-worth! Nothing seems impossible, delayed or unjust anymore. The universe has its own pace that cannot be hurried no matter how much you want to. One must accept Divine timing and enjoy the ride as well as the anticipation of a mysterious destination. I am now deeply immersed in the practicalities of life viz. better financial scrutiny and budgeting. Life is steadily getting back on track and it feels great to have a semblance of control and direction again!
So, was the journey easy? Well, change of any kind is always intimidating. Many did not applaud the decision, some actually congratulated me for being bold enough to take it, and a handful were blessedly non-judgemental about it. Not only did I have to set and monitor my own goals, but I was the evaluator too. It also meant that I did not crave external validation anymore. However, until I adjusted to this new normal AND found my groove, everyone was treading on eggshells. It was super-tough to have all around me racing at break-neck speed (so hectic, got busy, customer/release/family emergency etc.), while I was at relative leisure. But it wasn't that hard to accept - after all, I had been on the other side not too long ago! They kept inquiring regarding milestones of my book (life is only meaningful when you are chasing specific goals), not truly having the bandwidth to understand the nitty-gritty of self-publishing, nor the back-breaking toil it entails. And despite it getting published finally, no one really had the time to read it - or wanted to wait for the paperback. Well, they will get to it one day, am sure. Some did, and the reviews are so, SO worth it :) And yes, the toughest part is to refrain from preaching this hard-earned gyaan; best to let the consequences speak for themselves.
Getting off the hamster wheel feels heaven-sent. Will I ever want to get back in the saddle? Sure, this is not a retirement. A pivot in the career? Most probably. Time and energy are finite - one has to prioritize some things over others; no one can juggle all the balls in the air indefinitely. As things start balancing in one sphere, there will be time and vitality, to zero in on the career front again. Till then, I am thoroughly relishing the unexpected luxury afforded by this pause. I am super grateful for my other half on his unstinting support, as always !!
The great philosopher Socrates had said " An unexamined life is not worth living." Well, this period is certainly ensuring a re-examination, and even a re-haul in some cases, of my life at all levels.
